Iris Paddock
Iris Adele Paddock 31st March 1935-13th October 2019
The eulogy given by Lesley Christiane at Iris' funeral in November 2019.
'Firstly I would like to say what an honour it is to be invited to speak today on behalf of family and friends about our wonderful iconic Iris.
Iris Adele Paddock, 'The Duchess' as she was known to some of her friends or to others 'The Queen Of Hearts' ..She was given this title because if Iris loved you she was indeed a true and loyal friend and loved you with all her heart..but if you crossed her., or disagreed with her strong opinions it was “off with your head”.
Iris was born in London on 31st March 1935, daughter to Ada and Alfred Paddock. Alfred was a bus driver and Ada was in Iris’s words“ just Mummy and Mummy was always beautiful and glamorous.” The rest of the family were bookmakers and publicans and her grandfather was a champion boxer.
In 1939, just before war broke out, her brother Gerald was born and Iris adored him and protected and defended him fiercely in any way that she could, even getting into fights herself with the school bullies. I think we can guess who would come off worse. Iris could be very fierce.
During the London bombings, the Paddock family home suffered a direct hit. Fortunately Iris and the family were in the Anderson shelter at the bottom of the garden but their home was completely obliterated and so too was their neighbours' home. The neighbours were all killed. We can only speculate on how this must have affected such a small girl. “The only redeeming sight“ Iris told me was that “Mummy’s fur was spotted hanging from a nearby tree”.
Iris and Gerald were evacuated to Northampton for the rest of the war where they sang in the church choirs, deepened their faith and Iris nurtured her budding talent for music. Gerald initially became a police sergeant but later became a man of the cloth, a cannon in fact. Of this Iris was inordinately proud. She held her religious beliefs and the sanctity of the church very close to her heart.
Back in London Iris went to Highbury girls school and acquired the secretarial qualifications to gain her employment at Westminster bank and later Nat West but all the time she was also developing her real passion and natural aptitude for music and drama, she became heavily involved with the Nat West Operatic society and performed in many shows including a staring role in South Pacific in London’s famous West End. She also travelled and sang in Italy accompanied by a handsome gay friend who chaperoned her and introduced her to many fabulous parties music and people.
Iris never wanted to marry or have children although she told me she had had many offers but she couldn’t really see the point of it “There’s enough of them in the world she said and I don’t mind other people getting married if it’s what they want to do, but I never really fancied doing that, I was too busy having fun”.
Her nephew Daniel says that Although he had a quiet instinct that Iris thought that children should be seen and not heard, “she was a very cool aunt to have, with my brother Martin and I coming from T total parents and very little in the way of razzmatazz our introduction to the party life was with Auntie Iris. . She would breeze in “Hello my little darlings” squeeze us tightly and plonk a big red kiss on our cheeks .She did the same to our family pets. Auntie Iris introduced us to Elvis Presley and cocktails starting off with snowballs and graduating onto Bucks Fizz..... when we were ten. She continued this routine with her great nieces and nephew, Rebecca, Abigail, Georgia and Ben. A cool great Aunt to have too.
I think that most of us will remember the first time we encountered Iris, perhaps because she was always so completely herself. Iris stood out from the crowd, vivacious, glamorous,stunning..she had her own style, her own very strong opinions and there was never a dull moment when she was around. Iris loved drama and drama loved her here is just one story from her friend Nigel about their first meeting.
“Iris and I met in 1992 in the bank at Holborn.. I was in my office and heard raised voices in the foyer. I went to see what was happening and there stood a vision captured in the sun, with sumptuous red lips, big glorious hair and sunglasses wearing full furs, berating the poor cashier for not using her correct title Iris Adele Paddock..The cashier was fairly new and had missed out 'Adele'..oh dear I thought and hastened to sort the situation out and appease Iris Adele Paddock. After a few minutes of apologizing on the bank's behalf and a bit of unseemly grovelling we agreed to meet the following week over lunch at Coopers. This was the start of our long client adviser relationship which centered around long lunches, love, laughter and a roller-coaster friendship that has endured and enhanced many years of my life. Iris was completely unique..like the gleaming black Ford escort that she drove
around the London she loved so much, always in full make up, playing loud music flaunting her signature red lips, earrings and sunglasses completely unforgettable.”
Friendships were very important to Iris, she was very loyal to those she cared about.
Her friend Teresa also talks of that first meeting, in a wine bar in Twickenham called 'French Connection "she was like nobody I had ever met before so glamorous and yet so deep and thoughtful too". Their friendship lasted 47 years. They would meet every couple of weeks and Iris did most of the talking as she always seemed to have done more in two weeks than most people do in many years. Iris was always out at the jazz clubs and theaters living life to the absolute full. She was very loyal to the Twickenham Rhythm and Blues Club, The Milford Arms, Cafe Posk and our own Twickenham Jazz Club..no matter what the weather Iris was there. High heels and finery and full of fun and opinions.
Every year Iris and Teresa would go to the beautiful Greek Is of Kefalonia for a holiday. Teresa would have a small neat suitcase which held everything she needed and Iris would have a huge bulging suitcase with everything that she needed. The pair almost fell out one day when after Iris had toppled off her heels when going down a hill to the sea Teresa suggested that Iris should purchase some more sensible and flat shoes..sandals.(.I hope you didn't say flip flops Teresa.)..suffice to say Teresa is a very brave lady and of course their friendship survived . Iris is god mother to Teresa’s daughter Charlotte. An honor that they both truly valued.
As Teresa expressed Iris had a very serious side which was another reason why she loved her so much, apart from her enduring faith Iris had a great love and respect of animals and has left a legacy to several animal charities including the RSPCA, Red wing Horse Sanctuary PDSA Battersea Dogs & Cats WWF. She has also donated to The Salvation Army, Blue Cross and Cancer research.
Yes Iris had a very serious and caring side..
I am afraid that I don't have enough time to share all of the stories I have been given about Iris and I am sure that you all have your own to share later at the Twickenham Club but I will just squeeze in just one more quickie from another dear friend friend Francis.
“Iris was rather vain...and wouldn't wear glasses.” Francis and Iris used to go and feed the ducks at Hampton court and one day she was absolutely furious that a duck would not eat her bread. Francis had to bravely explain to Iris that she was trying to feed an old trainer that was floating on the water and perhaps she should think about getting some glasses.
Iris bore her illness with a dignity and strength that I have never seen before, she was philosophical,practical and I think at peace..we had some great conversations and even visiting her in hospital the conversations were never dull or negative.
A tribute must also be paid to her great friend Ray who described himself as her dogs body but in fact has also been a great practical and emotional support for many years and most importantly at the time Iris needed it the most.
In summary Iris was a beautiful,strong positive soul, of her time but in many ways ahead of it and all of our lives will have a little less sparkle without her amazing presence.
.
For All We Know
For all we know we may never meet again
Before we go let this moment live again
We won't say Goodbye, until the last minute I'll hold out my hand
And my heart will be in it.
For all we know this may all just be a dream
We come and we go like the ripples in a stream
So love be tonight, tomorrow was made for some
But Tomorrow may never come
For all we know.
The eulogy given by Lesley Christiane at Iris' funeral in November 2019.
'Firstly I would like to say what an honour it is to be invited to speak today on behalf of family and friends about our wonderful iconic Iris.
Iris Adele Paddock, 'The Duchess' as she was known to some of her friends or to others 'The Queen Of Hearts' ..She was given this title because if Iris loved you she was indeed a true and loyal friend and loved you with all her heart..but if you crossed her., or disagreed with her strong opinions it was “off with your head”.
Iris was born in London on 31st March 1935, daughter to Ada and Alfred Paddock. Alfred was a bus driver and Ada was in Iris’s words“ just Mummy and Mummy was always beautiful and glamorous.” The rest of the family were bookmakers and publicans and her grandfather was a champion boxer.
In 1939, just before war broke out, her brother Gerald was born and Iris adored him and protected and defended him fiercely in any way that she could, even getting into fights herself with the school bullies. I think we can guess who would come off worse. Iris could be very fierce.
During the London bombings, the Paddock family home suffered a direct hit. Fortunately Iris and the family were in the Anderson shelter at the bottom of the garden but their home was completely obliterated and so too was their neighbours' home. The neighbours were all killed. We can only speculate on how this must have affected such a small girl. “The only redeeming sight“ Iris told me was that “Mummy’s fur was spotted hanging from a nearby tree”.
Iris and Gerald were evacuated to Northampton for the rest of the war where they sang in the church choirs, deepened their faith and Iris nurtured her budding talent for music. Gerald initially became a police sergeant but later became a man of the cloth, a cannon in fact. Of this Iris was inordinately proud. She held her religious beliefs and the sanctity of the church very close to her heart.
Back in London Iris went to Highbury girls school and acquired the secretarial qualifications to gain her employment at Westminster bank and later Nat West but all the time she was also developing her real passion and natural aptitude for music and drama, she became heavily involved with the Nat West Operatic society and performed in many shows including a staring role in South Pacific in London’s famous West End. She also travelled and sang in Italy accompanied by a handsome gay friend who chaperoned her and introduced her to many fabulous parties music and people.
Iris never wanted to marry or have children although she told me she had had many offers but she couldn’t really see the point of it “There’s enough of them in the world she said and I don’t mind other people getting married if it’s what they want to do, but I never really fancied doing that, I was too busy having fun”.
Her nephew Daniel says that Although he had a quiet instinct that Iris thought that children should be seen and not heard, “she was a very cool aunt to have, with my brother Martin and I coming from T total parents and very little in the way of razzmatazz our introduction to the party life was with Auntie Iris. . She would breeze in “Hello my little darlings” squeeze us tightly and plonk a big red kiss on our cheeks .She did the same to our family pets. Auntie Iris introduced us to Elvis Presley and cocktails starting off with snowballs and graduating onto Bucks Fizz..... when we were ten. She continued this routine with her great nieces and nephew, Rebecca, Abigail, Georgia and Ben. A cool great Aunt to have too.
I think that most of us will remember the first time we encountered Iris, perhaps because she was always so completely herself. Iris stood out from the crowd, vivacious, glamorous,stunning..she had her own style, her own very strong opinions and there was never a dull moment when she was around. Iris loved drama and drama loved her here is just one story from her friend Nigel about their first meeting.
“Iris and I met in 1992 in the bank at Holborn.. I was in my office and heard raised voices in the foyer. I went to see what was happening and there stood a vision captured in the sun, with sumptuous red lips, big glorious hair and sunglasses wearing full furs, berating the poor cashier for not using her correct title Iris Adele Paddock..The cashier was fairly new and had missed out 'Adele'..oh dear I thought and hastened to sort the situation out and appease Iris Adele Paddock. After a few minutes of apologizing on the bank's behalf and a bit of unseemly grovelling we agreed to meet the following week over lunch at Coopers. This was the start of our long client adviser relationship which centered around long lunches, love, laughter and a roller-coaster friendship that has endured and enhanced many years of my life. Iris was completely unique..like the gleaming black Ford escort that she drove
around the London she loved so much, always in full make up, playing loud music flaunting her signature red lips, earrings and sunglasses completely unforgettable.”
Friendships were very important to Iris, she was very loyal to those she cared about.
Her friend Teresa also talks of that first meeting, in a wine bar in Twickenham called 'French Connection "she was like nobody I had ever met before so glamorous and yet so deep and thoughtful too". Their friendship lasted 47 years. They would meet every couple of weeks and Iris did most of the talking as she always seemed to have done more in two weeks than most people do in many years. Iris was always out at the jazz clubs and theaters living life to the absolute full. She was very loyal to the Twickenham Rhythm and Blues Club, The Milford Arms, Cafe Posk and our own Twickenham Jazz Club..no matter what the weather Iris was there. High heels and finery and full of fun and opinions.
Every year Iris and Teresa would go to the beautiful Greek Is of Kefalonia for a holiday. Teresa would have a small neat suitcase which held everything she needed and Iris would have a huge bulging suitcase with everything that she needed. The pair almost fell out one day when after Iris had toppled off her heels when going down a hill to the sea Teresa suggested that Iris should purchase some more sensible and flat shoes..sandals.(.I hope you didn't say flip flops Teresa.)..suffice to say Teresa is a very brave lady and of course their friendship survived . Iris is god mother to Teresa’s daughter Charlotte. An honor that they both truly valued.
As Teresa expressed Iris had a very serious side which was another reason why she loved her so much, apart from her enduring faith Iris had a great love and respect of animals and has left a legacy to several animal charities including the RSPCA, Red wing Horse Sanctuary PDSA Battersea Dogs & Cats WWF. She has also donated to The Salvation Army, Blue Cross and Cancer research.
Yes Iris had a very serious and caring side..
I am afraid that I don't have enough time to share all of the stories I have been given about Iris and I am sure that you all have your own to share later at the Twickenham Club but I will just squeeze in just one more quickie from another dear friend friend Francis.
“Iris was rather vain...and wouldn't wear glasses.” Francis and Iris used to go and feed the ducks at Hampton court and one day she was absolutely furious that a duck would not eat her bread. Francis had to bravely explain to Iris that she was trying to feed an old trainer that was floating on the water and perhaps she should think about getting some glasses.
Iris bore her illness with a dignity and strength that I have never seen before, she was philosophical,practical and I think at peace..we had some great conversations and even visiting her in hospital the conversations were never dull or negative.
A tribute must also be paid to her great friend Ray who described himself as her dogs body but in fact has also been a great practical and emotional support for many years and most importantly at the time Iris needed it the most.
In summary Iris was a beautiful,strong positive soul, of her time but in many ways ahead of it and all of our lives will have a little less sparkle without her amazing presence.
.
For All We Know
For all we know we may never meet again
Before we go let this moment live again
We won't say Goodbye, until the last minute I'll hold out my hand
And my heart will be in it.
For all we know this may all just be a dream
We come and we go like the ripples in a stream
So love be tonight, tomorrow was made for some
But Tomorrow may never come
For all we know.